No Adults Allowed

Its been a while but I decided to get up and write something today. I wanted to write about how I feel about my situations.What I view is right or wrong about it. Maybe you may have the same feelings or just have a general understanding of what I’m going through but here goes. I been doing what I can to move out of my folks house. In technical terms I’m considered to be an adult(I feel far form it),but what is the true defining moment you become an adult? Let’s look it up shall we:

a·dult
a·dult [ə dúlt, á dùlt]
n (plural a·dults)
1.  fully grown life form: a fully mature person, animal, plant, or other form of life
2.  somebody legally adult: somebody who has reached the age of legal majority, generally 18 years of age in the United States

adj
1.  completely grown: fully developed and mature
an adult male
adult life
2.  for somebody mature: involving, relating to, or meant for mature people
adult education
3.  unsuitable for children: considered unsuitable for young people because of pornography, violence, or sexually explicit language

[Mid-16th century. < Latin adultus , past participle of adolescere (see adolescent)]

-a·dult·hood, , n
-a·dult·ness, , n
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.


  Based on this dictionary meaning I’m a mature  fully grown adult, but that doesn’t mean I’ve reached the many adults standards we all have mapped out before us. My personal definition of adulthood is being  18 or older, having your own residence,  transportation, and paying for your own financial well being without any assistance from family or friends. Being able to make responsible decisions and taking accountable for mistakes made. Passing your wisdom to anyone in need of advice or empathic abilities. I’ve been struggling with this list of demands and qualifications for awhile now. I finished  college Approximately, 2 years after New Year’s Eve and I’m still living at home. 


  Don’t have much privacy or freedom to do as I please and its really a shame. Seems like I felt more like an adult when I was still in school on campus. Walking back and forth to my dorm room to class interacting with friends and classmates. I try not to think about it and stay focused on what I do have and keep striving for the life I’ve always dreamt of.  I currently have two jobs one at a pain clinic about 30-40mins away from home and another I don’t start until January. I was so ecstatic when I knew I finally made one of my goals, but the process is still going to be long. My home life isn’t the best environment to be in but its better than living on the street. I really don’t want to complain, because I know there are so many people who have worst situations to deal with daily. Still, I can’t help to voice my feelings it’s the only healthy thing I know to turn too. Sometimes, I still feel like giving up but then I hear a voice in my head saying just a little longer… Keep going your almost there. So, I keep a small corner in my heart and fill it with hope. I look in the mirror and try to realize life isn’t perfect, but I still can change the outcome as much as I possible can. 

Beyoncé - I'd Rather Go Blind

FRIENDS AT WAR OVER A GUY

How do you go about showing interest in a guy your friend is also attracted too? Who makes the first move on the guy? I’ve dealt with friends that said they weren’t feeling a guy I liked, but the moment I wasn’t around their actions spoke much louder than their words. If, you find yourself in a situation when your with your best friend and you both zone in on a hot guy. Please, follow these rules to avoid a dramatic or regretful experience.

Rule #1 Discuss it before you act
Be honest about how you feel. Just because your friend mentioned her interest first doesn’t mean you should back away into a hole.
I believe if you both admit to the attraction then you should let the man decide who he wants. I just ask for it to be tastefully done. No, going behind your friend’s back making overly sexual gestures to him. So you can one up the unsuspecting friend. If that’s the only way you can get a man’s interest its just sad and down right pitiful.
“It really depends on the circumstances. If they met him and fell for him first you should back off. If you all both met at the same time you both should back off to avoid drama”. - Candyce
Of course there are always exceptions to every rule, if he shows interest in your friend first you should back off immediately or if you believe your not too interested after speaking with him their isn’t a reason to go forward.

Rule #2 Divide and Conquer.
If your not apposed to making the first move after you and your friend have an agreement to take a chance on him. You should both engage in a conversation with him.
I would prefer you do this separately so he can focus on you. Men can get easily distracted, but if you feel more comfortable doing it together it’s ok. I stress this to the up most capacity don’t over do it but be classy. The man you want to be with shouldn’t be won over strictly because your throwing yourself at him. Most guys think it’s a huge turn-off anyway. Be yourself and sincere with this guy. The only way you’ll know if he is worth all this is if you show him what your all about. That way when he talks to you both he can make the best decision on who he’s most compatible with.
“He is still fair game until he decides who he wants in my honest opinion”. - Gabriel
“It seriously depends on who he is most interested in”. - Natasha

Rule #3 Don’t get Angry, Disappointed, or Regretful !!
This section basically speaks for itself, their isn’t a need for you to get angry with your friend if he shows more interest in her. Looks can be deceiving, but if that isn’t the case he’s not the only man in the room or on the earth. There are plenty more where that came from. Don’t be disappointed in your capability of attracting a man. When that man said no, fifteen or twenty more around you would’ve said yes.You should be proud of taking a chance most of the greatest experiences in life came from taking a risk. At least, you don’t have to go home wondering what if. The words “What” and “If” are harmless words individually but when put side by side they’re hell to live with. Besides, this man did you a huge favor he helped you dodge a bullet. As an added bonus, you won’t be intimated when you really do meet Mr. Right.

Live

To die is definite what matters is how u live. These words my be cliché but they still have meaning to me so live today like its your last because one day you'll be right. Reach out to people and learn to be more understanding because one day there will be a more powerful judge at hand. Grant mercy on others that deserve it you never know when it will be your turn. Throw away anything that holds you back from becoming the person you truly are inside. Once life is over there is no going back

The Secret Reality of Fairy-Tales

Most of us can not resist the boy-meets-girl romantic fairy-tale setup.
We want that classic story to tell our future grandchildren about the magical moment we met their grandfather “our soul mate”. Some women fall in love with the fairy-tale in itself. We become curious of our surroundings not truly grasping the impact of the choices we make. Questions asked never receive a straight answer you get thrown in a maze of riddles. So, who really has time to understand the possibilities of failure when your at a tea party with the Mad Hatter eating cookies and cakes. Not realizing soon you will be falling down the rabbit hole to awaken from bliss into a beautiful nightmare.
In every old-fashioned fairy-tale there is a beginning that leads you into the journey. Mine started on a yellow school bus. Everyone knew each other already and I was the new girl. I remember one day this guy walked from the back of the bus and sat next to me. He had a nice smile and a cheery disposition. When he spoke I already knew in my gut why he was there. He introduced himself and asked me what was my name. He said one of his guy friends thought I was attractive and convinced him to do his dirty work. I turned around to the back and he pointed in his direction. I quickly turned back and said you knew before you asked I would say no. Then we both laughed and talked until his stop. After that he sat next to me everyday. This young man became my best friend. Now, I wonder if everything happens for a reason then our friendship was apart of my destiny or maybe God must have blinked.
Within a year, we were an item and he would always nag me about having to wait an entire year before he could date me officially. Becoming high school sweethearts didn’t come naturally to my surprise. Nothing changed between us expect we carried a different title. He walked me to my classes, we went to lunch together , we talked on the bus, and we stayed up all night talking or fell asleep on the phone then did it all over again. What we had was a simple routine. After six months, our relationship disintegrated from lack of quality time and rumors. It may have taken awhile but we both decided to remain friends.
Throughout my college years he popped in and out of my life. He moved back to Nashville, TN the summer before my senior year. Do to family issues he was homeless. So, I talked to my uncle and he agreed to rent him a room. I went over everyday to check on him and drove him to job interviews or anywhere he needed to go. Then it happened, he said he wanted to rekindle what we had. That wasn’t what scared me it was the fact he was ready to get married and have kids. I wasn’t ready for something so serious,
because I had no real life experience. I was very sheltered growing up and he was the wild child.
As a result, I told him I couldn’t be with him. I believed that I made the right choice by not rushing into an unstable earnest commitment, because I would never what to hurt someone I cared about by living a lie. The reminder of my senior year I missed him terribly everything reminded me of him, but we weren’t speaking. Until one afternoon,
I was on a three-way phone call with him and a mutual friend. He said he had big news then blurted out he was engaged with a baby on the way. I’d never thought I could feel the pain of being shot through the heart without it breaking my skin. I was bleeding internally so holding a conversation was out the window. At that moment, I knew any feelings or hopes of us being together in the future were over. Life on the other hand has a funny way of proving you wrong.
Less than a year later, he contacted me and to my disbelief I wasn’t angry.
There wasn’t any exchanges of questions passing through the channels of my brain.
I jumped in head first into a never ending pool of uncertainty. He said he was
separated from his fiancé and he needed to know how I felt about him once and for all. True romantics call this action a golden moment for the main characters to confess their harbored feelings thus beating the odds of a love lost. Well, I did just that I confessed my love for the first time, but I began to feel regretful for putting myself in such a vulnerable position after not hearing from him for weeks.
Turns out after we got back in touch and talked about the possibility of him moving back to be with me. I saw a facebook posting of his saying he was engaged again. On his status was a wedding ceremony date a month away, location, and invitations for anyone interested in coming. If you recall what I said earlier about pain it doesn’t even scratch the surface of what I felt then. It’s clear my heart wasn’t the only deceiver it didn’t betray me alone. I lost a love interest and my best friend.
I’m not sure of all the life lessons that will come my way. I suppose the universe has a greater meaning of karmic ties and I will become a better human being because of it.
One thing I have learned from this situation is I don’t believe in fairy-tales.
No, I believe in love. Love isn’t a fantasy its real unlike fairy-tales it can easily be experienced when focused on the source it comes from. The light of love is inside of us all so please let it shine bright enough for the world to see.